Are You Feeling More Lonely Every Time? So Read This Article - Love Quotes Blog

We are increasingly busy, with less time, more connected thanks to technology and, at the same time, more isolated. The virtual connection makes us believe that we are more united because we connect with others, however it creates a contradiction: that connection does not satisfy the need for human affectivity and loneliness appears on the scene.

Despite this hyperconnectivity, the sad reality is that the feeling of misunderstanding and loneliness continues to grow in our society at an alarming rate. We all need to feel a real hug, to feel understood, that we matter and need real human contact.

Most of us have felt alone at some point in life. Sometimes for the simple day to day, because things have not gone as we expected, by a separation, a failure, a change of work or by other circumstances.

These situations, at certain times, make us lock ourselves in as a protection mechanism. Other times, we demand and enslave ourselves at work. But all this is a vicious circle, a circle that compresses and suffocates life, which leads us to a greater degree of isolation and loneliness.



1. SOLITUDE: A PROBLEM OF OUR TIME THAT MANY HIDE


Throughout history we have lived, survived and evolved as a species in tribes, groups, families, as a couple; helping and protecting each other, sharing. It is a human need that we all have and yet, despite the great technological advances, we are increasingly living apart and isolated. And there are already a few studies that reveal it.

Loneliness is one of the evils that expands like a virus in modern society, to the point that in the United Kingdom a Ministry of Loneliness has already been created. Almost 9 million people in that country face this increasingly serious problem, which affects their health and, unfortunately, they decide to hide

1.1 But what is loneliness really?


The concept of loneliness does not necessarily have to do with being alone or not having any human being nearby. A person can be surrounded by people and feel alone. How many people who are in a couple or family feel lonely (which is even worse)? It is not a physical loneliness it is an emotional loneliness.

That type of abandonment or helplessness is born of misunderstanding, of the feeling that nobody understands me, of feeling invisible, that you don't care, that nobody really knows or understands what is going on inside you.

However, instead of connecting it seems that we are more determined to impress, to stand out, thinking that we are going to like it better. And in that attempt we become less human, we move away from others. And the truth is that what we need are true and deep conversations that help us connect, understand and feel understood.

2. THE EMOTIONAL SOLITUDE IN THE ERA OF THE MOBILE


Through social networks it gives the impression that there is an extraordinary world out there full of countless happy people who have a great life. But beware! Reality may be totally opposite.

Since feelings are invisible and easier to hide, what prevails is appearance and although we know this, our mind becomes a cruel comparison machine. And what does it do? It generates feelings of inferiority, that we are defective, of not being enough; it seems that out there there is a world to which I have no access, a life that is not within my reach.

When we harbor such thoughts (with their corresponding emotions) we decide to isolate ourselves to escape from pain, to hide our supposed imperfections and what happens right after? That emotional loneliness embraces us.

 3. HOW TO FIGHT SADNESS AND LONELINESS (NOT CHOSEN)


If at any time you felt this way, welcome to the club! It does not happen only to you, you are not a freak, you do not have the exclusivity of the problem because it happens to many of us and it has a solution.

Now, first we must also be very clear that there are different types of loneliness and that sadness is not always a problem that we should solve.

Sometimes, the concept of loneliness is not associated with a negative emotional state. In these cases we talk about people who enjoy their silence, their moments of recollection. Learning to be alone is a very positive exercise because it allows us to listen (without distractions), analyze what we feel and observe our circumstances from a more calm approach. That pause is very necessary and, as Michel de Montaigne said, (…) loneliness, that moment of fullness.

And the same goes for sadness: we must understand that this emotion is a natural part of life and we all go through it at different times. Except for cases of depression, it is something temporary that can connect us with a deeper inner part, can help us focus and connect with our values ​​and make us stronger.

But if in your case what you are experiencing is an unwanted isolation, I want to share with you a series of points to get out of that emotional state:

a) Get out of yourself
Stop being the center of your own universe, because the more you isolate yourself, the greater the problem will increase: your inability to stop thinking only of yourself.



b) Recognize yourself and your loneliness
You are the only person who will be with you all your life because people come and go. Therefore, the goal is for you to be your best friend and that is the key to everything. Just as you treat yourself or talk to yourself, it will be the indicator of your emotional life and how your relationships with others will be. I recommend the following readings:

Usto Austoestima: How to work it and understand the concept

➡ Self-demand: why we enslave ourselves and become our worst judge.



c) Stop looking for stimuli outside to feel better
There are people who are unable to be alone because when they do they face their own thoughts. They live it as a torture and that is why they look for something, someone or any entertainment: from the mobile, series or whatever it is to run away from themselves and not have to listen. Is that really the life you want? Do you really think you can reach personal fullness without accepting yourself?

On the other hand, if you are fine with yourself you will never feel alone. If you have a friend in your mind you will always be in good company, so accepting and loving yourself is the fundamental ingredient.

The good life has nothing to do with achievements, the good life is built of good relationships, of good times, of sharing hugs and good feelings, of that necessary human connection. For that reason, we have to prioritize and make an effort to relate more.

d) Work your personal relationships
Go out, join a group of something you like, mountaineering, reading, dancing, some sport. Open up, look for people with whom you can have deep conversations, connect.

Find where you can help, do some volunteering, some way you can contribute and get out of you. We have to spend more time in front of people, looking into each other's eyes and less time looking at a screen.

So if you feel alone from here I send you a huge hug and if we cross the street, glad to give it to you and receive one in person.